They Have Always Said You Cannot Run Forever
by hayleyrebecca
Summary: Jonny had run from his previous life before Holby. And for a while it worked successfully. But they always say, you cannot run forever.
1. Chapter 1

**Thought I would make this a chapters fic, not a one shot... Just because it means what I have written lasts longer! Perfectly selfish ;D**

**I promise I will do my very very best to make this fluffy as time goes on and I am aware that I still owe certain people a fluffy one shot/multi-shot for grovelling purposes.**

**Please read, review, sorry for errors!**

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Walking through the corridors of Darwin ward in Holby City hospital, Nurse Jonathon Maconie was content. No, he was more than content, he was ecstatic. His life was going great. His life was good. He had everything he could want in that moment in time, and a strong unspoken promise for everything he would want in the future had been made to him by his love.

Firstly he had his job. He was a CT nurse on Darwin and was head of all the other nurses on the ward. He loved his job and moving to be part of the new transplant unit at the hospital was what he felt to be the best move he had ever made for taking his life forward. Up until very recently.

And that led him on to think about the second point that was making his life the best; his girlfriend. No, his _fiancé, _with whom he had recently become engaged to be married. Jacqueline Naylor. The love of his life. The woman who would soon promise to stand by him and be faithful until death would part them. With the help of Jac, Jonny had bettered himself; he had become head of the nurses on the ward, a recognised coordinator in the area, he was a CT specialist nurse and more to the point, he had learnt a great deal about himself as he battled against his memories and emotions, in order to leave his past behind him. And hence move on, with the help of his beauty, even though she was unaware of the part she was playing, or what he was running away from. But he preferred it this way. They had been living together for 4 months, her selling her flat, giving everything up to move in with him and since his life had been utterly perfect.

That was the third and final great positive in his current life; the leaving behind of his past and the steps towards the brighter, promised future that he was slowly gaining. He had wanted to beat his past, leave it behind him, and even though he had appeared to be strong, the last year had been difficult in battling with what tormented him, his past, in a very personal way. But that was behind him; he had a strong future and was moving on. Burying his past behind him as he went. Or so Jonny thought. But life was never easy for Jonathon Maconie.

Turning the corner onto the ward, Jonny was smiling to himself, smiling at his thoughts, until his heart met his throat and he wanted to run away and hide once more. In an attempt to get away, Jonny tried to enter one of the bays, hoping he could sneak though, get to the back stairwell and from there be able to hide wherever until his mind thought best; that would be when he would think this nightmare would have ended. He had spent so long running, too long re-building his life for it to be mucked up again now. He was just not prepared to let it. The anger was bubbling inside of him, inside his veins his blood pumping fast. He reached the door to the side bay he hoped to skip through, passing this as he went. His hand reached for the handle, until he realised he had been seen.

"Oi, Jonny..." Jonny ignored the first call, hoping to plead ignorance. "Nurse Maconie!"

Jonny had no choice but to stop and then reply. Turning, he let out a rather large sigh, as he tried to keep his composure and remain professional. Turning to face Gemma, the person who had called him and so had obviously tried to 'help' these unwanted visitors, she could see the anguish and hatred in his eyes. But she felt she had to carry on anyway.

"Jonny, this is Sandra and her mum, they insisted that they needed to see you in person, they wouldn't take no as an answ..."

"I bet they didn't!" Jonny yelled "And thank you Gemma, I know who they are!" Jonny spat back, adding a harsh undertone to every syllable as he spoke to these two women, who he had long tried to forget.

"Lovely to see you too Jonathon! Long time, no see... I didn't expect flowers or chocolates, you never were that type, or a red carpet on arrival, but a quick kiss and a smile wouldn't have gone a miss, after all, let's be honest, you never used to be able to resist."

"Will you just shut up and go away Sandra, I don't need to throw you out, do I? It is only what you deserve..." Jonny was close to exploding.

"I always used to love it when you talked dirty, something sexy about it, I find..." Sandra flirted with Jonny, while Gemma sniggered with Harry behind him.

Yelling at this pair "Shut up you two, I don't think this is working, is it!? And _you_..." Jonny turned back to the figures that represented his past, the past he had tried to erase from his memory. "You can get out, go on, get out! Go crawling back to where you came from." When they simply sniggered at him, he walked close to Sandra's face and yelled "Now!"

"Nurse Maconie...?"

"Oh great..." Jonny sighed, Jac. The worst and best, last and first person he wanted around appeared from around the corner, trying to distinguish why her fiancé was yelling out for what appeared to be little reason as no one else was yelling back.

"May I ask you what the problem is? Why are you bellowing at these poor women here, I do apologise for this and my staff's..." Jonny beat Jac to it.

"Don't apologise to them Jac, and don't apologise for me. I don't need your efforts."

"I think you do Jonny. What has got into you?" spoke Jac, trying to shame Jonny for his behaviour, not knowing that he actually had a perfectly good reason to be just a little bit irritated and fight. She also didn't know he was in no mood for backing down. Work or no work, boss or no boss.

"Aaww Jonny, getting shot down by your boss. When she's a woman. And she is higher than you, you little wee nursey. Aw. Maybe you are better off without him Sandra, he's even weaker than I remembered. You need someone manly, who cannot easily be shot down by his boss..." Sandra's mother jeered, but with the main attempt being to irritate and provoke Jonny further.

Jonny gulped. He was being humiliated and Jac was here to witness the whole event. It didn't matter if it was her, that was just how they were together, but someone else meant Jonny felt like he needed to look strong, prove something to Jac.

"Excuse me, who are you exactly?" Jac asked, noticing the shocking emotions displayed on Jonny's face and the way it had changed.

"Jac Naylor. What is it to you anyway? You?"

"We are Jonny's family." Jac gulped, now worrying about first impressions and all. She now too had a face which matched Jonny's earlier one successfully. "This is Sandra, my daughter. Sandra is engaged to Jonny and so we need to speak to him. He did a little disappearing act about a year and four months ago, you see."

"A year and four months ago, but Jonny, that's near to when you came to Holby. And you already engaged..." Jac looked to the floor. He voice saddened, weak and upset as her world came crashing down.

"Jac... Jac look at me... Please." She refused, tears welling in her eyes as she blamed herself for all that she had done wrong. She had believed that he would be with her, with _her _forever. Now he wouldn't. "I think you need to leave now. I don't think you should stay here _any longer_... you have done more than enough damage here."

"Not as much damage as you caused to my daughter; your supposed to be fiancé. We are not leaving. There is a rather pressing matter we have to talk to you about..."

"I am not coming back, if that's what you want. So if it is, you better leave. Jac, can we use your office please?"

"_You _ can use my office. I guess we will have to talk later... You have to explain to me, or can you just tell me know I am disposed of, in the gutter." Jac spoke to Jonny so nobody else could hear. "But I am not letting you use my office for them, if that is what you meant by 'we'."

"Thanks." Much to her surprise, Jonny grabbed her hand before putting his arm around her waist. Whispering in her ear on the way to the office he tried to restore her confidence in him, in them. He had seen how she had reacted to this bombshell of news and it tore him into many little pieces. "I meant you and me 'we' actually. No more secrets remember." He turned and yelled over his shoulder at teh two women he saw as witches. "Are you coming?!"

Closing the office door behind him, he went to join Jac at the other end of the room. He took her hand firmly in his and held it at his side.

"I am not talking while _she's _here." Sandra spat, "Why are you doing that hand-holding thing anyway. I thought she was your boss!"

"Yes... I am his boss, but I also happen to be his fiancé, at least the actual one he wants." Jac spat back with an equally sarcastic and vile tone.

"Sorry love, positions already taken and filled by my daughter..." Sandra's mother answered cannily.

"I thought I told you I was not coming back, so not to bother trying to make me. That still stands." Jonny replied a cocky tone in his serious, unchallengeable voice; the voice Jac loved to hear. Jonny pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her against him. "We finished. I don't love you. I made a mistake, I never really loved you. Or it doesn't compare to how I feel with Jac now. I told you, I love Jac. More than I could ever love you. So what do you want, or can you go?"

A muffled cry echoed around the room, from underneath the shawl that Sandra was wearing; a cry which was responded to in different ways. Sandra rocked her arms slightly, while her mother smirked. Jac's heart broke in an instant and she pushed herself away from Jonny, whose jaw had fallen open in shock.

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**Hope that was ok! Thanks, Hayley x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yeah... This is a bit dodgy still, but oh well! I hope I am getting there with my writing of these...**

**Sorry for errors, but basically I couldnt be bothered to check it more than once!**

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_A muffled cry echoed around the room, from underneath the shawl that Sandra was wearing; a cry which was responded to in different ways. Sandra rocked her arms slightly, while her mother smirked. Jac's heart broke in an instant and she pushed herself away from Jonny, whose jaw had fallen open in shock._

The cry became louder, given out from under the shawl with more conviction and effort. Jonny couldn't believe his ears, and was too angered by it. Jac had slumped down into her chair; she was stunned by the sound she heard, but also saddened and heartbroken by the reality that had just arrived in her world. She was going to lose Jonny, she was sure of it. Feeling the need to comfort the crying, using one hand, Sandra removed the shawl from her shoulders, to reveal a little baby girl strapped to her body in a sling, crying uncontrollably in her arm now. Wrapping her other arm around her little girl, the mother made an attempt to comfort the baby, trying to rock her from side to side to hush her back to sleep. Jac's eyes had not left the little bundle strapped to this woman, and did notice to herself the poor attempt that Sandra was making in trying to calm her daughter. Jonny however was outraged.

"How dare you! How dare you! How do you think you can come back here, to my new life, accusing me of leaving you behind and being such a bad person for running away, when it now appears that you seemed to have move on to some other bloke pretty quickly. A little bit ironic do you think? I had you down as evil, but I never thought you would be a hypocrite." Jonny yelled at Sandra, who did recoil away a little, however making no attempt to shield her baby from this anger, as even Jac expected to be only natural instinct. She could tell something wasn't right, and Jac was going to find out what this was. Even if it was going to be her last attempt at trying not to lose Jonny, as she could see being the only end to this now.

Sandra was next to speak; shouting harsh words and tones back at him, despite the fact she held her daughter who she should be doing everything to protect. "Jonathon, this is Beth. Beth is my daughter..."

"Never Sherlock," Jonny cut in sarcastically, "Though it wouldn't surprise me if this was just some random baby you found in a supermarket and decided to claim. I wouldn't put anything past you." Jonny spat back.

"That is very harsh!" Sandra yelled taking several forceful steps forwards towards Jonny, lifting this little girl out of the sling before stopping less than a foot before him. "At least I have been there for the first 4 months of her life. You can't talk. But she is not my problem anymore, now that we have found you. Beth is your daughter now. Not mine. She is your problem," Sandra spat at the screaming baby she was holding, obviously so frightened by the anger and shouting she could here. Sandra literally launched the baby at Jonny, throwing the weak little infant through the air, Jac standing up; banging the table in complete and utter shock that someone would do such a thing. Jonny wrapped his arms around the little pink bundle that had just been launched at him, and although he had little choice but to catch the screaming, petrified, shaking baby, it felt completely right to him.

Sandra turned to go, launching a couple of the bags she had been carrying, her mother doing the same, as Jonny ran to be in front of her, blocking the door to the way out of the office. "You, take this baby back. This baby cannot be mine!" Jonny tried to force the baby back into the arms of Sandra, who forcefully refused. Jonny had no choice but to keep hold of Beth, not trusting Sandra to not let her fall to the floor should he insist on giving her back. "I haven't seen you in 13 months. So this baby cannot be mine. I understand you may have had a one night stand, and think that you can offload this baby on me, but you can't. This baby is _not_ mine and it is not right for you to leave her with me!" Jonny was still yelling, despite the fact her was holding this screaming bundle. It was at this moment he noticed Jac had joined him at his side, looking like a petrified child who was expecting the worst thing in their world to happen. "Take this baby back!" Jonny finished.

"Do the maths, Jonny. Or are you that much of an idiot. Think about it. 13 months. 9 months pregnancy, 4 months life. She's yours! I found out I was pregnant the _day _you left me. My whole world ended. Having children was your thing, not mine. And I certainly didn't want children with you. And I have had to put up with this screaming dependant brat for the past few months, and I have had enough. It's your turn. You can have her. And don't think about giving her back. I don't want to see her or you _ever_ again. You have 6 nappies and enough formula milk to last you two days in those bags. So I think you should let me go so you can get on with sorting yourself and her out... I don't think you will manage very well besides!" Sandra spoke with a harsh, vindictive tone, designed to make Jonny feel small.

"She is not my little girl. I won't let you do this. I will not just raise some random man's child because _you_ can't cope so thought me idiotic enough to do it! You are not leaving this room until you, this child and your mother leave together!" Jonny was furious at this proposition, that he would just take full custody of this random child.

"Just look at her Jonny, how could she _not_ be yours! She has your hair, your eyes, and your cheeky smile! She is a little female clone of you! And I feel so much pity for her because of it. But you are perfectly welcome to take the little animal. You, in fact, aren't welcome, you are just going to!" Sandra sniggered.

Jonny gulped, Sandra was right. This little girl was a little clone of him. She was perfect. Well, perfect despite the fact she wasn't Jac's. Jac. He remembered her in all of this. He turned towards her, a look of desperation on his face as he silently asked her for help. She simply shook her head. "She's yours Jonny. No-one can argue that. I think you should go with Sandra, her mother and Beth now." Jac turned her back to Jonny, a silent tear falling down her cheek and a little sniff emitted from her nose.

"You think I want them to come with me!?" Sandra addressed Jac.

"Yeah, that is what you want. You came back to take Jonny and go and play happy families." Her eyes were glistening with tears. This was something she couldn't compete with, and she would lose Jonny. Turning to him, she spoke again. "And I think you should go with her. Just go, I will tell the board you have had to leave, go and play happy families with Sandra. At least you will be happy."

"I will not be happy. I am not going. And I am not keeping this baby!" Jonny protested to Jac.

"He is not coming with me. That brat is not coming with me. And there will be no playing happy families!" Sandra informed Jac also.

"Well this is just great, isn't it?! I have two people acting like children in my office, squabbling over who _isn't_ going to care for this baby, whilst not giving her a second thought, despite the fact babies know when are they being rejected. And I am expected to play referee. Well I am not doing it. I have a job to be doing! Just shut the door when you all leave to go back to wherever you came from." Jac replied sarcastically, although the hurt in her voice was evident to Jonny, who was moved by this, and the baby lying in her arms.

Jac reached Jonny who was still leaning against the door. "Goodbye Jonny. I will know you are going. Don't worry about staying. Follow your heart, ok. All I want is for you to be happy, and I know that is with Sandra and your little girl." Jac's voice had changed, into a sincere, loving tone. Jonny had never heard this tone from her before. In fact, he had simply never heard this tone before. It was tone of apologies, for many mistakes. A tone of love and comfort. A tone of hurt and regret, with an understanding of the finality which was close, and the pain that that caused. And he suddenly knew what he had to do to try to make this work. Get rid of this waste of space, and then try to piece together his life with his baby and his love.

"Follow my heart. Ok." Jonny turned to face both women. "You are not going anywhere." He nodded at one. "_You _on the other hand, are leaving here_._" He nodded to the other, opening the door wide for her to exit. She nodded and accepted, stepping through the doorway, not quite sure how she felt.

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**So what decision did Jonny make? Who did he tell to go? No prizes for guessing ;D**

**Thanks, Hayley!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry its a bit short... but I had to split it down otherwise it would be very long!**

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And she left the office, tears in eyes, not quite sure where to go from here or what to do when she decided where to go. Normally she would carry on with her job, as if nothing had happened, close herself off from the world and act like nothing had happened and she wasn't hurt.

But this time it was different; she was hurt, and she couldn't see any way of trying to make herself seem strong and like everything was alright in her little world. The little world she had allowed Jonny into, and furthermore make changes to, to make it better. Except Jonny had chosen Sandra over her and in her little world, that had become their little world, that was a complete bombshell.

For once in her life she had felt truly content. She was living with what she thought would be her husband, and she finally thought she would be getting her happily ever after, not that she was getting soppy. But with all the news she had received already in this day, starting with this morning at her home, her day, well now life, had once again become the twisting, unstable rollercoaster.

She thought she was going to have everything, after all she had agreed to marry Jonny, make that commitment; something nobody would have ever imagined would happen, and in all honesty still found it hard to believe. But they would be all smug when they heard that the ice-queen had once again made all the plans go wrong, for it would always be her fault.

But more than everything she dreaded the way she would potentially have to work with Jonny if he decided to move his family to Holby. He had told her many times moving to Holby was the best decision of his life, little did she know it was because it was here he met her. Jonny had said he needed to follow his heart, and to her this meant he saw these random people, and that little baby, as his family. She felt like all that they had shared, what they now shared, was meaningless to him. And that broke her heart. But he wasn't to know the whole story, she hadn't yet told him.

Finally realising she was still stood in the corridor leading to her office, barely three steps from her office door; she could feel the inevitable tears run down her cheeks. And, to Jac's disgust, they showed as many signs of stopping as the signs that had shown they were commencing.

Jac felt suffocated, like she needed to get away. The air in this corridor was drying up fast. Not knowing where to run, she considered her options. She could run to Sacha, but he had problems of his own, and as a result they had been distant for the past few weeks. Going to her office, her usual safe haven was completely out of the question; along with the staff room where she risked being seen by any other member of staff.

The tears were still rolling freely down the side of her cheeks, and for the first time in a long time, she was frozen. A unclear figure emerged in front of her, her vision so clouded by tears, her consciousness reduced by the mad, irrational panicking in her mind.

"Jac?" the figure spoke, however it took this to speak for a second time before she realised who was speaking to her. "Jac?!"

Mo. Jac began to panic; other than Jonny this was the last person who she wanted to see. She felt two hands on her shoulders.

"Jac? What is wrong? Why are you stood in the middle of the corridor crying?" Mo sounded concerned for her acquaintance; despite the fact this was the women who was supposed to be marrying her best friend, she still couldn't call Jac _her _friend.

"Mo, its... its..." Jac stuttered before squirming out of Mo's surprisingly firm grasp, to run away to the first place her legs carried her. Flustered and lost, Jac found herself in the ladies toilets. 'Not the nicest place to run to', she thought to herself, but at least here she could lock herself away from the world.

Slumping up against the wall of the cubical, the tears continually began fall. She found herself crying hysterically, making far more sobbing noises than she would ever wish for. Along with her whole world, her whole persona and strength which she has created was falling quickly, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

The door to the toilets opened, signified to Jac by the distinctive creak. Hoping, praying even, that this was a random patient who would soon leave, Jac held her breath, instinctively trying to ensure that no sounds were made. But she had not been quick enough, the intruder on her privacy had heard. And it was not a patient.

"Jac," Mo sighed, "I know your here, I saw you run in through the door and I heard you crying and then I heard you try to stop and I know your not ok, and I also know that I want to help you. So are you going to come out and talk to me, or do I have to look like an idiot talking to a door? It's your choice, but either way I am not moving from this room, whether you like it or not."

Jac sighed. Sniffed. Tried to compose herself. Stood up. The tears started once again and she fell back to the floor. Hearing this, Mo knew Jac wasn't going to play ball, but she also knew that as she hadn't spouted back some sarcastic or remotely harsh comment, she was hurting and she needed help.

"I guess you're taking the make me look stupid option. Well fair enough, here we go... What is wrong Jac? You never just break down on the ward. You hide in your office not the toilets so I assume it's something to do with Jonny, because he would instantly look for you in the office, and I also assume that it's something pretty bad, or means an awful lot to you, because you never just break down in tears. Come on Jac, you're the strongest person I have ever worked with!" Mo laid down her speech and where she stood, not allowing Jac the slightest get out option, covering all bases.

"It's over Mo. You might as well leave. He chose her. He didn't want me. He didn't think I could give him what she could and ultimately I don't blame him. Have a kid with her and be happy with the easy life or be with me in the hellish way of living. I don't blame him, I don't hate him, and so you might as well just go, because nothing anybody says can make this better." Jac spoke, trying to hide the fact that she was crying, which would have worked if she had been speaking to a deaf person.

Mo sighed. "Jonny has done what, with who, and what, and where, and what, and when and why and... Oh this is stupid!" Mo's head turned into a blur. "Just... what are you saying?!"

"I am saying it's over. So you don't need to pretend to care anymore. So you might as well just go. Jonny is in my office with _her,_ and _that_."

Hearing the door close, Jac thought she had won. She had won that slight battle, so she could cry in piece. She had lost the largest thing in her life, but she had won something today. The tears continued to fall, as the reckless, unstoppable sobs continued to form.

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**Thanks, Hayley x**


	4. Chapter 4

**If any errors remain, I apologise. Once again I have had to split this into two... It was too long. So now you just got 2,900 words.**

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These sobs seemed to Jac like they would never seize. She would forever be in this pool of misery. Irrational thoughts filled her mind; to her, her would was worthless.

Little did Jac know, however, that Mo hadn't given up, she had simply decided to change her tact, leaving the toilets to attempt the other option. Walking through the corridors, which she had never thought she had walked so quickly down, Mo headed towards Jac's office, where she had been told she would find Jonny and _that_ whatever that was.

The way she had found Jac scared her, scared her a great deal. She hadn't a clue what Jonny had done, but whatever it was, it must have been pretty serious, and pretty irrational, even for Jonny. She hated to think what he had said, or what he had done, to make her act like she was. She seemed like she had given up, except Jac never gives up, and that fact played in the front of her mind.

She knew she has to sort this, sort out Jonny and Jac's relationship before Jonny threw away what had made him so happy, despite the fact it pained Mo to admit it. Her main priority was to have a persuasive, but abrupt chat with Jonny as to what was going on. She needed to make him speak to Jac. And make her see sense. The only way however that Jac would be anywhere close to seeing sense would be if Jonny saw sense first.

Turning the corner onto the main ward, Mo could already hear Jonny shouting. He was yelling pretty loudly, and the sound echoed around the ward. He was furious, Mo could tell that, but it was obvious as she approached that he was furious to the extent which scared Mo; she could not remember a time when he had been like this with anyone.

Briefly composing herself as she reached the closed office door, Mo wondered who she was going to find, why Jonny had been so angry and more importantly what _that_ was going to be. Ignoring all sense of manners, as well as not giving Jonny a chance to tell her to leave him alone, Mo opened the door and spoke immediately.

Instantly she heard a piercing cry, a distressed cry, which so obviously was coming from a child, a young child, that was panicked, frightened or both.

In complete shock, and being too preoccupied focused on the screaming bundle which he held, Mo was not even able to look around the room to see who exactly Jonny was shouting at. "Jonny, a word."

Opening his mouth to protest, Mo added the defining word onto the end, "Now."

Jonny knew when he had been beaten and so telling the women who were in the room with him to stay put and that he would be back to resolve this slight issue, Jonny followed Mo out onto the ward, refusing to move more than a few steps from the door. It was at this point Mo decided to mention the unusual, unexpected pink, wriggling, yet screaming bundle, that Jonny held firmly in his protective arms. She now understood what Jac had meant by _that_.

"Jonny, who is that?" Mo asked suspiciously, for she had already almost realised what Jac had meant by he had chosen someone else with the kid and everything. Except Mo had no idea Jonny had a daughter, or that he had even caused a woman to be pregnant.

"This is Beth. Beth is erm... Beth is... Well she is... my... um... my daughter?"

"You what? You have a daughter and you never told me?! What other lies have you spun? And Jac didn't know either, I take it? Or she is crying her eyes out with tears of happiness locked in the toilets is she?" Mo was trying to remain calm, for Jonny was her best friend and she never wanted to argue with him, but under these circumstances, she was struggling.

"Alright Mo." Jonny began as he gently rocked the little baby, for she was only tiny, in his arms, trying to hush her back to sleep. "I didn't know ok. I have a lot of history, half of which you don't know, and I am sorry. But I only just found this ok, so please excuse me for being a little overwhelmed and upset by the situation."

"So you just got some random woman pregnant did you, and now she has come to find you?" Mo couldn't hold her tongue any longer, and the full tone of her sarcastic voice embraced the conversation.

"No Mo, not exactly, what are you taking me for? You remember Sandra, right?" Mo nodded.

Their engagement had been common knowledge and Mo had known all about it, being Jonny's best friend for many years previous to arriving at Holby, but she had not really known how it had ended, just Jonny had slowly become less and less happy. She had never agreed to the engagement anyway, she had always argued Jonny was too young and it was too soon after meeting her.

"Well you know I told you we fell out, and we broke up, and I just had to get away because there were too many memories which were upsetting me... So we moved," Mo nodded again, she too remembered this, dropping her whole life to up-stakes and move away to wherever Jonny needed to go, "Erm... my reasons were slightly different to that. It wasn't so much _we_ fell out, it was more, _I_ fell out with Sandra, I fell out of love with her, I was in too deep and I didn't want to marry her anymore. So I had to run away, I had to get away and never break her heart by telling her I didn't love her. I thought if I could just get away then things would be better, it wouldn't be as bad, but it turns out she was already pregnant, she just hadn't found out in time to tell me."

Jonny sighed, his life was turning into a complete mess; his mood falling dramatically from the comfortable, content way he was walking through the corridors this morning.

"You what Jonny? You mean you lied to me, couldn't face the consequences of your actions so made me run away from it all with you, whilst you were being a coward? And why is she here now..."

"Your right Mo, you are one hundred percent right. And I am sorry. I was a coward. A stupid, stupid fool. But that's how I was and what I did, I can't change that, I can only apologise. Sandra is here now to give me Beth, she doesn't want her anymore, told me children was my thing, not hers and she didn't want the screaming little _brat._ I mean who would say that about their own flesh and blood, about this little darling angel." Jonny questioned. His heart had melted for Beth, even though he had only come around to the idea of having a daughter a few minutes before.

"So you are stuck with the baby? But Sandra doesn't want anything to do with her. And she doesn't want any more to do with you?" Jonny nodded. "Then why does Jac think that you have chosen Sandra over her. She is in pieces Jonny, she is in complete tatters. You have done all this to her? I am not going to mince my words to make _you_ feel better. You have destroyed her. One hundred percent knocked her over and completely and utterly broken her. I mean I thought you loved her, and she loves you, quite clearly, so why did you have to go and muck it all up by telling her it was over and you didn't want her?" Jonny looked stung, clearly hurt.

Jonny was hesitant. "No... I didn't say that... I haven't chosen Sandra... I just followed my heart... I did what I thought Jac would want. She doesn't want this; she doesn't want me if she has to have the baby. That is not Jac at all, no way. I was only trying to protect her from having to live a life she didn't want. I was doing what I thought was best for her in my heart. You have to believe me Mo!"

Jonny was in denial. He had truly hurt his most precious, the woman who was his life, and now he couldn't do anything about it.

"Well I think you are an idiot, Jonny Mac. I think you need to go and tell your supposed fiancé all of this, who will still be crying alone in the toilets after everything she has thought has happened. Because I think mate, you might have thought wrong. Your following your heart thing might possibly have ended the best thing you thought you had completely unnecessarily. Look just go now, go and sort out your life, because at the moment you are making one big muck of everything." Mo instructed, whilst sighing. Did she really have to tell Jonny every move to make to try to make this right?

"I can't Mo."

"What do you mean, you can't? I don't think you have much choice on that one."

"Sandra and her mother are still in the office, and I can't let them run away. They need to take Beth with them, I can't leave them for they will sneak out and be gone, and I will always have Beth. I need to sort something out with them!" Jonny was still in shock about the keeping the little baby thing.

"Look. Sorry Jonny. They won't take her. I think they have made their ground clear and firm. I will stay here and keep these two women locked in the office if it will make you feel better. But the best thing seems to be to let them go. Ok? Let them leave and try to piece what you can, without them interfering, because that for sure is not going to help with Jac at all!" Jonny was in limbo, he honestly didn't know what to do; though it seemed obvious to Mo.

"Go and speak to Jac, try to piece together what is still salvageable, please? She's in the ladies toilets. Oh and don't worry, you won't miss her, you will hear her crying." Mo shouted after him. When she had suggested this, Jonny had run straight away to Jac, his instinct was talking far more than his brain, and Mo knew instantly, that this could still be saved.

Hearing the door open once again, Jac tried to muffle her cries. She once again did not know who was outside the door; she had been caught out when Mo entered, so once bitten twice shy. Jac knew that there was nobody else in here, bar herself and this mystery enterer, and so if it was someone trying to find her, it would not be hard at all.

A slow, quiet knock was heard on her cubical door. It sounded like the knock Jonny always used to give upon her office door, but she quickly decided it could not be him, he had left her, and that was the end, no point dreaming, no point hoping; it would only lead her to more misery.

But then the other being in the room sighed. A heavy sigh. A weight of the world on your shoulder sigh. A Jonny sigh. "Jac..." his thick Scottish accent filling the room, making Jac's heart melt even further, if this was possible and causing yet another wave of tears to be recruited behind the current ones. "Jac please. Open the door, I know it's you. Mo told me. I need to talk to you. I _really _need to talk to you."

Jac shook her head furious behind the door. Why was he doing this to her? "Just leave me alone Jonny. You chose her, and I don't blame you. I knew it was too good to be true. Too good to last. Why would you ever stick around with me, living my unstable, unwanted life?" Jac sobbed but Jonny wasn't moving; he wasn't prepared to go anywhere until he had this sorted, found out really where his life was going.

It was beginning to seem like his life had two pathways.

Jac _and_ this baby.

Or just this baby.

It was clear Beth was here to stay with Jonny, and in a way that already felt natural to him, but he was pretty sure the baby meant no Jac. And that is deeply not what he wanted.

Jac sighed. The only way to prove her point would be to face him. Opening the door quickly, she saw Jonny stood in front of her, still cradling his child. And it broke her heart. "I told you, just leave me alone! Run back to Sandra, play happily families!" Jac cried as she ran towards the door.

But as she reached the door handle a hand grabbed her arm firmly and pulled her backwards. Swinging her around slightly to reposition its owner and her, so that she was now stood where the hand had come from; and the owner was now stood in front of the door, blocking her escape.

"Why Jonny, why are you doing this? Just let me go, just let me go back to my old life, my old life before I met you. It's better this way!" Jac pleaded, not quite knowing how she could go back to her old life, with the secret she was currently keeping hidden, but she had to try, had to try to seem strong, like she wasn't torn into pieces over loosing Jonny. She was fighting a losing battle however.

"Because... I need to talk to you! I haven't chosen Sandra, I didn't choose Sandra, I never would choose..."

"Well then, why when I told you to follow your heart, and do what you really wanted, did you tell me to leave and her to stay? You wanted _her_ Jonny, not me, and that understandable considering she is the one with the baby, the child you have always wanted." Jac spat back at Jonny, sounding like an attempt of venom in her voice, as she tried to regain strength and authority.

"That is not fair Jac. You need to hear me out. Sandra doesn't want me or Beth anyway, she has made that very clear, even you heard her..."

"Oh well that's just great...! Bring in the broken hearted, rejected, supposed-to-be-fiancé to play back-up Jonny. Is that what this is? Come here and beg me to come back, tell me you love me not her, just because you don't want to be alone with your baby." Jac's sarcasm had returned despite the still constant tears on her cheeks. Her defences were re-building, whilst being at an all time low.

"No Jac, I never _wanted_ you to go... I followed my heart trying to..." Jonny spoke tactfully

"But you told me to leave!"

"Yes. No. I told you to _leave here_. And if you would please let me finish a single sentence I would truly grateful!" Jac, too stunned to reply, stared at the baby who Jonny held so very protectively, whose face was still stained with tears from all the crying from the earlier disturbance to her restful sleep.

"You told me to follow my heart. And in all honesty Jac, I did what my heart was telling me to do in that moment. My heart was trying to protect you. It loves you too much Jac, and it didn't want you to have to chose, so it tried to make it easy..."

Jac scoffed. "Now you say it, and you think _this_ is easy!"

"No. My heart loves you and when you told me to follow it, it was telling me that you wouldn't want me in your life if Beth came with me. You would never be happy with a baby in your life, you are obviously not very maternal naturally and I wouldn't expect you to take someone else's child under your wing, that's just not fair. So I was giving you the easy option. The get out. I didn't know how I was going to survive without you, but I didn't want you suffering with a child in your life. I thought I was doing the right thing for you, I was only trying to love you and protect you as much as my heart does." Jonny hung his head in shame, upset with himself he had done so much wrong; he had ruined everything, he knew his life would be a mess but he had never intended to ruin Jac's life in the process.

Ignoring most of what Jonny had said, she only commented on one specific point.

"Well if I am so unnaturally maternal, and would never be happy with a baby in my life, it must be a brilliant, amazing thing that I have found out that I am pregnant with your child then! My life just keeps on getting better and better!" Jac yelled directly at Jonny, tears streaming heavily from her eyes, pushing past him and running out through the door onto the ward of Darwin once again.

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**Thanks, Hayley x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok, I haven't updated in ages! I have given up on this fic, as I have all my fics, so I have just finished this quickly... Hope its not too dreadful.**

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After running to her office, Jac was upset further after finding that Sandra and her mother still 'locked' inside. This was until she realised that these were not the only unwelcome inhabitants. Mo was inside also; with the amount of hurt that she was showing as the physical, 'un-Jac-like' tears rolled down her face; allowing Sandra and her mother to see this was one thing, but Mo knowing how upset she currently was, was quite simply sole-destroying.

"Get out!" Jac yelled at all the unwelcome visitors. "Go on, get out!"

Neither of the two parities moved. "It's ok dear, maybe now you see that all Jonny does is hurt. His only purpose is to capture the souls of women, and then leave them, and their children, broken-hearted. You got off lightly, normally he likes to leave women after he has impregnated them with his hideous, pointless, useless genes. But it appears he only got half the way with you! Count yourself lucky, dear! Looks like we saved you from it, but there is no need to thank us." Sandra's mother spoke spitefully.

Hurting that Jonny had left her, hurting that she was alone, hurting that she was now pregnant, Jac hated to admit it to herself, but she agreed with this woman.

Yet, the way she spoke of Jonny, infuriated her, caused something inside of her to snap, her blood to boil. Despite the fact that she should hate him, despise him, want to destroy him, Jac felt a forcing, but naturally-occurring, instinctual urge to defend him before Sandra's mother, who had spoken with such horrible words about him.

"I thought I told you before, don't dear me?! The last time I checked... that means don't do it, not do it again, twice more, in the same vile spat!" Jac spoke with sarcasm which would make Jonny proud.

Realising this, it broke her all the more.

"At least Jonny isn't a person who rejects their own child. Their own child, who grew inside of their mother, safely nestled protected from this harsh world by her. This should be the one person that a child has an unbreakable bond with, and that person should never have to face being rejected by their own mother. What sort of a mother and woman does that make her?" Jac pointed towards Sandra. "What sort of woman does what you are doing make your daughter, at least Jonny is prepared to take on his daughter, to actually look after her, to give her a fighting chance in life and not just reject her and throw her into the gutter. And then not care!" Jac spat back.

"Well if that's how you want to be, then we are leaving. We will not be insulted by you! Who do you think you are?!" Sandra's mother spat at Jac, getting close up to her face.

"Well, I guess I am going to be the person who is a mother to your grand-daughter, considering your daughter has already given up the job, because she doesn't have a heart or care! Beth needs a mother, and if your daughter can't be bothered, I guess I will have to try!" Jac turned from Sandra's mother, to walk back towards her desk, shocked at what she had just said, and in turn signalling that the conversation was over.

Hearing the door slam closed, Jac assumed that she was alone. She had completely forgotten about the presence of Mo in the room, as she had been throughout the exchange. The tears began to fall again. The sobs became un-pausing crying. The sniffs became more common and her head fell to her hands as her knees reached her chest. A hand was placed on her shoulder. Wait... a hand, on her shoulder.

Jac jumped, panicked by the second person in the room. She turned to see Mo, stood there with a look of confusion and a small smirk. "Jac?"

"What do you want? In fact, don't answer that. Just leave me alone."

"Did you mean what you said, about taking care of Beth? About being a mother to her? Because I think that would be..."

Jac cut her off. "No. I didn't. That was just to get rid of her mother. No, of course not. I don't want children. I don't want a child. Even Jonny thinks I am not maternal. He thinks I will be an awful mother to my own..."

"Your own what Jac?" Mo paused. "Oh my god. You're pregnant, aren't you?!" Mo began to get excited.

"I am. But not for long. I can't do this. It was all a mistake. I am going back to before I met Jonny, before any of this happened. Before I ever thought I could be happy."

"Jac you can't seriously be saying..." Mo was shocked. She knew Jac 'didn't' want children, but she thought that she would realise that she could do it, once she was pregnant.

Jonny chose this to be the perfect moment to enter into the office quietly, witnessing Jac fall back into her chair, and Mo walking over to him, almost in a state of complete shock.

Words were exchanged in hushed whispers; Jac could not hear what was being said, or that anything was being said.

"Jonny. All I will say is this. She's going to get rid of her baby. Your baby. The baby you created together. You need to sort this mate. This is serious. And trust me. Beth won't be causing you a problem, she told Sandra that she would be a mother to Beth, because her real mother was so incapable. And she claims she didn't mean it, but I heard the feeling in her voice; saw the emotion in her eyes." Jonny opened his mouth as if to protest. "Trust me." Mo added, before leaving Jac's office.

Jonny sighed. He couldn't work out what he was feeling. Confused. Worried. Anxious. Scared. Annoyed. Upset. Happy?

He decided he would have to speak, or too much time would elapse before he had, and then it would only become more awkward.

"Jac? Jac, look at me."

"Go away Jonny. I don't want you. Or need you. I thought we made it clear where we stood."

"But you're pregnant Jac?! I can't just leave you, can I? You're pregnant with my child, the next step in my relationship with you. You're my fiancé, one of my best friends, and now the mother of my unborn child." Jonny began to plead.

"Not anymore I am not." The ring was removed.

"What are you doing Jac? Why have you done that? I love you, don't you love me? I know this is difficult for you..." Jonny stopped suddenly. 'There goes my stupid mouth again, trying to say the right thing, always thinking the normal things to say, but Jac doesn't do normal' Jonny thought.

"You can't love me Jonny. You love your child. You don't want me anywhere near Beth. You said yourself that I am not maternal, why would you want me to be able to hurt both your children?" Jac questioned.

"You mean you would want me, with Beth? You would look after Beth? Mo was right, she said you said to Sandra you would have to be a mother to Beth because she was so incapable, and you did mean it, didn't you?" Jonny's face began to beam. This is what he wanted, he wanted Jac and Beth and the little child who lay within Jac's womb. He wanted them to be a family. He wanted Jac to be Beth's mother, because she was too little to know any different. He could have what he wanted, if he could convince Jac, cause her to admit it, trick her into doing so, if he had to.

"Where did you get that idea from? Of course not. I don't want anything to do with you, you don't want me to and I don't want you to do something you don't want to... I don't want to do that anyway." Jac added quickly.

"You do." Jonny raised his eye brows, smirked and walked towards Jac, pushing Beth towards her. "Hold her. You'll see."

Taking Beth in her arms, it felt somehow, right to Jac? Beth nestled towards her, like she had done Jonny, and like neither had seen her do to Sandra. It was never something Jac had wanted, children, but in this moment she wanted nothing more.

"There see, all happy and perfect. She likes you. I told you. Now, get that ring back on your finger you stubborn fool!"

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**Sorry. Also please dont shoot me but soon I may not be able to write very often at all (not that anybody will care about that, or miss these fics) but I am starting A-Levels (5 which means I am mad) and I have a couple of music projects that I am hopefully going to be working on, so my spare time is going to be very limited... Yeah ok, I am just rambling on now... Thanks, Hayley! x**


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